Staffroom gossip
by Hannoie
Summary: Severus finds the trivial gossiping of his colleagues quite amusing to listen to ... That is, until he hears something that isn't trivial at all. Oneshot, SSHG, AU.


**A small Snamione oneshot inspired by a post I saw on Tumblr. Enjoy!**

**This is AU in several ways, including but not limited to that Dumbledore is alive, Snape is alive, and all the students from Harry's year returned for their final year.**

**Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Joanne Rowling, and I'm not her by any means.**

* * *

Severus was sitting in a corner of the staffroom, calmly sipping a cup of coffee. In the room with him was Albus, Minerva, Filius, Pomona and Septima. They were having a rather heated debate, and Severus had to admit he greatly enjoyed listening to it. They were discussing couples among the student body – both those that existed, those that they thought existed and those that they wanted to exist. He found it rather amusing how often they were completely wrong.

'Dean Thomas is _not _seeing Daphne Greengrass!' Minerva snapped, sounding rather affronted. 'She's a Slytherin, for Merlin's sake, and you all know very well how tense things still are between Gryffindors and Slytherins.'

'Now, now, Minerva, I'm sure it hasn't escaped your notice how they are looking at each other,' Dumbledore said.

'_If_ they have been looking at each other, I'd rather think it was with hostility than with love. No, they're not seeing each other.'

'Padma Patil, perhaps?' Filius piped in. 'I've seen Mr Thomas and Mr Finnigan spend quite a lot of time with the Patil sisters.'

'Wouldn't Parvati be the more obvious choice, then?' asked Septima. 'She's the Gryffindor, after all.'

'Not with the way Seamus and Parvati have acted around each other lately,' Pomona said with what she probably thought was a knowing smile.

'Seamus Finnigan and Parvati Patil?' Dumbledore asked. 'Yes, I suppose I could see it … although I must admit I always saw Seamus ending up with Miss Brown.'

'Brown! Lavender Brown!' Minerva exclaimed. 'After the way she's been around Ronald Weasley?'

'Well, I assumed it was just a fling that would pass.'

'Perhaps, but –'

'You're all wrong,' Severus drawled from his corner, effectively interrupting the discussion.

'What do you mean?' Minerva asked.

'I mean,' he said, 'that if the way Mr Thomas and Mr Finnigan have been _snogging _in the _corridors _is anything to go by, neither of them is interested in any of the girls you've suggested.'

For a moment, the other professors seemed unable to do anything but gape at him.

'D-Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan?' Minerva stammered.

'Yes. I don't know how it escaped your notice; they've been quite obvious about it.'

'What's obvious to you, my boy, isn't always obvious to everybody else,' Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

'Hmm.'

'What about your Golden Boy?' Pomona asked, addressing Dumbledore and Minerva. 'Have you any idea who he's seeing?'

'Ginevra Weasley,' Minerva immediately said. 'He's seeing Ginevra Weasley. This one I'm sure of.'

'I suppose you're right,' Dumbledore sighed. 'Although I always thought he'd do well with the Lovegood girl.'

'Yes, yes, Albus, I quite agree!' Filius exclaimed. Minerva and Pomona rolled their eyes.

'You only agree because she's one of your Ravenclaws,' Minerva said.

'What about Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy? I always thought there was something more than hatred between them,' Pomona said thoughtfully.

'Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter?' Minerva repeated with a disbelieving chuckle. 'That's ridiculous. Besides, he's seeing Pansy Parkinson.'

At that, Severus couldn't help a soft snort. Minerva appeared to have heard it, as her head immediately turned in his direction.

'Severus?' she asked sharply. 'Would you like to add anything?'

'Draco hasn't been seeing Miss Parkinson since their fifth year. He's getting quite serious about the younger Miss Greengrass.'

'Astoria?' Septima, who had been silent for a while, asked.

'The very one.'

'She's taking Advanced Arithmancy. She's intelligent and kind; I'm sure Mr Malfoy couldn't have chosen a better girl.'

A lull in the conversation followed as everybody took a sip of coffee or tea and someone reached for a biscuit.

'What about Ronald Weasley, then?' Albus asked after a moment.

'Miss Brown? Miss Patil?' Pomona suggested. Minerva shook her head with a somewhat rueful smile.

'No, I don't think so. I believe Mr Weasley is the victim of unrequited love.'

'Miss Granger, I assume?' Severus asked. Despite his best attempts to feel indifferent, he found himself rather interested in Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley's relationship; he had lately found himself interested in everything that concerned the girl, much to his chagrin.

'Yes. She broke up with him in the beginning of the school year, but I don't think the poor boy's over her yet.'

'She's over him, at least,' Septima said with a sudden grin. 'Last month, in Advanced Arithmancy, she was done with the day's assignment more than half an hour too early. Of course, that's a common occurrence, and when it happens, she usually requests extra work to do until class is over. However, this day, she didn't. Instead she opened a blank spread in that little blue book she uses to take notes in –'

'She has one for every subject,' Minerva nodded.

'– and she started to write. First I thought she was just writing down some observation she had made while doing the day's assignment, but as she continued to write for several minutes, faster and faster, I realised it could hardly be about Arithmancy. I didn't ask her what she was doing, because I realised it was probably none of my business, but then she _blushed_, and you know how curious I can be, so I put a notice-me-not on myself, and sneaked up behind her. I read what she was writing over her shoulder, and … I will admit I blushed, too. She had written a … sort of story about her wedding and … the night after. And I can safely say that the person at the end of the aisle was _not _Ronald Weasley.'

'Please,' Minerva said, 'did you only figure _that_ out last month? I, for one, didn't need her to write inappropriate fantasies in her Transfiguration notebook to notice it. I understood a good three months ago. It is rather obvious, isn't it?'

'Well, _now _it is,' Septima replied, rolling her eyes. 'Once you've seen it you can't un-see it.'

'Wait,' said Pomona slowly. 'Is she in love with the person I think she's in love with? I mean, I suspected it, and I suppose it makes sense, considering how intelligent they both are, but how can she have fallen in love with _him_?'

'I don't know,' Minerva sighed. 'To be honest, I feel rather bad for the poor girl. That story in her Arithmancy notebook is as close as she'll ever get to him.'

'Ladies, I'm afraid I don't follow you,' Albus said, curiosity practically radiating from him. 'Who is it that you are convinced she is in love with?'

'I'm sorry, Albus,' Minerva said. 'I won't tell. It wouldn't be the right thing to do.'

'If you say A, you must say B, Minerva,' Filius argued.

'I, too, would like to know who could be so wholly unreachable for a war heroine, and a moderately intelligent and attractive one, too,' Severus drawled, trying to suppress the waves of jealousy washing over him at the thought of Hermione interested in somebody else. He knew he didn't really have any chance with her, but that didn't mean he wanted to see her with anybody else. 'Is this young man in a committed relationship?'

'No, he's single,' Minerva sighed, 'but he isn't interested in her. And you know very well, Severus Snape, that she is more than moderately intelligent. She's borderline genius!'

Severus waved his hand impatiently. 'You keep saying that.'

'It's true.'

'Yes, yes, I'm sure.'

Without another word, he got up and left.

* * *

Three days later, Severus was sitting behind his desk, idly watching Hermione brew. She was, together with Potter and Thomas, one of the three Gryffindors left in his class. Because of the humid heat in the room, her hair was bushier than usual and her face was red, but somehow it didn't make her less beautiful.

He couldn't stop thinking about that story. Who was it about? Exactly how explicit was it? Severus wasn't sure he really wanted to read anything that had made Septima Vector blush, but still …

This was the second class of the day. Didn't Hermione have Arithmancy before Potions on Tuesdays? He wasn't sure – he didn't know her time table by heart – but he did have all the students' time tables in his desk, so he could easily check.

He opened one of the drawers and, upon finding it, pulled out Hermione's time table. He quickly scanned it and – yes, she had Arithmancy before Potions on Tuesdays, and only a quarter's break in between. A quarter was just enough time to get from the Arithmancy classroom to the Potions classroom; the notebook would be in her bag, and in the notebook, the story.

His eyes went from her time table, to her bag, and then quickly to the girl herself. She, just like everybody else, was completely focused on a critical brewing stage, and Severus got the distinct feeling that he could have stood naked on his desk singing without anyone noticing. _Perfect_.

He drew his wand and muttered, '_Accio _Hermione's Arithmancy notebook.' The bag immediately opened to allow the blue book to silently float into Severus's waiting hand. The girl didn't notice a thing.

He opened the book, quickly turning the pages in search of the story.

_Arithmancy, arithmancy, arithmancy …. Here it is! Shall I try to find the name of the boy immediately? No, let's see what she has written …_

So Severus leaned back in his chair, made sure he was comfortable, and began reading from the beginning.

_The dress is beautiful in its simplicity. It's white, of course, with a straight skirt, a simple bodice and a tasteful V-neck. It's perfect. I love it, and I am sure he will, too, when he sees me in it._

_I have my hair in an updo, matching my dress in simplicity and elegance. It is all perfect. Of course, everything would be perfect today even if I were wearing a cardboard box and my hair was an even bushier mess than usual, because today is the day I will marry the man of my dreams._

_'__Are you ready?' my father suddenly asks, interrupting my musings._

_'__Yes,' I say, smiling at him. 'I have been for a long time.'_

_My father smiles back at me, and offers me his arm. I gratefully take it – to be completely honest, my legs do feel a little shaky. It isn't every day you marry the perfect man._

_'__To think that I will finally be able to walk my little girl down the aisle,' my father says, his voice shaking a little._

_'__Finally?' I laugh. 'I'm only 21!'_

_'__Exactly. I've spent 21 years waiting for this moment; am I not allowed to say "finally?"'_

_'__You wouldn't have wanted me to marry earlier, and you know it.'_

_That moment, the music begins to play._

_'__I believe that is our cue,' my father says, and so we turn around the corner and slowly begin to walk down the aisle._

_Some distant part of my brain notices that all the benches are full, but it is insignificant, completely insignificant in comparison to the person standing at the end of the aisle. My fiancé. My husband-to-be. My beloved._

_My Severus._

Severus nearly dropped the book in shock when he read his own name.

_It says Severus. Why in Merlin's name does it say Severus? Does she know another Severus? _Is _there another Severus? Not that I can think of. Is it really me she has written about? Is she really in love with _me_? No, that's impossible. It must be some sort of mistake._

So he went back to reading, certain he would find something that would prove she had written about somebody else.

_He's dressed in a black muggle tuxedo, his equally black hair tied back. He doesn't smile, but he doesn't need to. Nobody can mistake the happiness radiating from his face, smile or not. How can black eyes be so expressive?_

_My father and I reach the end of the aisle, and so he places my hand in Severus's. I wouldn't have known that hand better had it been my own; I have felt it on every part of my body, eliciting all sorts of pleasurable sensations …_

_Dumbledore is officiating the wedding, and now he begins to speak._

_'__Ladies and gentlemen,' he says, 'We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two faithful souls – to celebrate the marriage between Severus Snape and Hermione Granger.'_

So it really was about him. Hermione Granger really was in love with him. What a surreal thought.

He continued to read about how he and Hermione went through with the rest of the ceremony, the reception and … the wedding night.

No wonder Septima had blushed; he would have blushed himself, had not the blood required for him to do so been located somewhere entirely else.

Who would have thought Little Miss Goody Two-Shoes able of writing anything like that? He certainly wouldn't have, but it didn't in any way make her less attractive in his eyes. In fact, it made her even more so …

Upon finishing reading the story, he turned to the beginning of the book to see if she had written something else about him in it. As far as he could tell, she hadn't, but he did find some rather interesting things. The book was, of course, filled with notes from her Arithmancy classes, but she had also written about her own Arithmancy theories, several of them having something to do with potions. He found them both brilliant and captivating to read about, and so he ended up reading all of them, his admiration for the witch growing with every word. When he had finally finished reading, he silently closed the little book and put it on his desk, covering it with a few marked essays. Looking up at the students brewing in front of him, he realised they were almost finished; Hermione was already bottling a sample of her potion.

'Miss Granger,' Severus said. 'A word after class.'

She looked up with surprise, but nodded after a moment. 'Yes, sir,' she replied.

Potter looked surprised, too. It was understandable; Severus had, after the war ended, made it clear that he wanted as little to do with the Golden Trio as possible, so why would he voluntarily speak to Hermione Granger? At least there was no evidence of suspicion in Potter's face; since the war ended, Potter had been convinced Severus could do nothing wrong.

Hermione came to his desk and left her potion sample, soon followed by the rest of the class.

'Class dismissed,' Severus said, and everybody but Hermione quickly got out. She, instead, waited in front of his desk to hear what he wanted to speak to her about.

He didn't say anything, but simply picked up her notebook from under the essays, and let it dangle between his thumb and index finger. It took a moment before she recognised it, but when she did, she turned beet red.

'Sir – I – I didn't – I can –'

'Silence,' Severus interrupted her. 'Sit.'

She fell silent and sat down, but she was still looking extremely embarrassed and nervous, wringing her hands and biting her lip.

'Stop looking so bloody nervous, Granger; I'm not going to hex you. I want to discuss some of the theories you've written in here, and, if what you say seems as intelligent as what you've written, I want to offer you a partnership.'

'A – A partnership?' the girl stammered.

'Yes, a partnership. As you may know, this is my last year at Hogwarts as well as yours. I'm planning on starting a potion shop in Diagon Alley, but I've come to the conclusion that starting it by myself would be far too stressful, so I've been looking for a suitable partner for a while now. You are intelligent enough, you are skilled enough in Potions, and these theories show that you, on paper, are innovative enough. But I need to hear you speak about the theories, I need to hear you discuss them and explain them. Let's start with one that I found particularly interesting …'

Severus opened the book and slowly turned the pages. He had deliberately chosen the last theory before the story; only a couple of sheets separated them. He had to admit he enjoyed seeing Hermione grow more and more nervous as he got closer and closer to the part of the notebook she least wanted him to see.

'Ah, here it is,' he finally said, showing her which theory he meant but not letting go of the book. He could see evidence of her relief in every feature of her face; had he not already known what caused it, he would have been extremely suspicious at this point. 'This is a very interesting idea you have, Miss Granger, but I must ask you …'

They spent what was probably a good half an hour discussing different theories. Severus became more and more certain that this was the right person to start a potion shop with, especially as she relaxed after a while and became more confident in her reasoning.

Finally, he said, 'I believe that will do, Miss Granger. You have convinced me. May I offer you to become my business partner when you have graduated?' he asked.

'Yes, I'd love to! Thank you, Professor. May I have my notebook back? I'd like to go to the library and expand on some of the theories I've written in there, because now that I know I will have some use of them, I don't just want them scribbled in my Arithmancy notebook; I want them properly written out.'

'Certainly,' he said smoothly, making a move as if to give it her. But before she got her eager hands on it, he stopped, as if suddenly coming to think of something.

'You know,' he said, 'there was one more thing I wanted to discuss.'

'Is that so?' Hermione asked, her smile fading.

'Yes. There was one thing in the beginning somewhere …' he muttered, absentmindedly flipping the pages in the little book, as if trying to find something he wasn't entirely sure where it was.

'Ah, here we have it,' he smirked, holding up the story for her to read. She took one look at what she had written before groaning loudly, covering her face with her hands.

'I knew it. I _knew _it. Professor, I can –'

'Explain? Go ahead, I'd love to see you try.'

Hermione slowly shook her head, before sitting up straight again and removing her hands from her face.

'Just for the record,' she said, 'I had not planned on doing this until after graduation.'

'Granger,' he growled. 'Why do I get the feeling that you're about to do something entirely foolish and Gryffindor?'

'Perhaps because you're terribly perceptive?'

'Granger –'

'You want an explanation?' she interrupted him, and now she was smirking. Severus didn't like it one bit; why did it feel like it was suddenly she who had the upper hand? 'Fine. I'll give you an explanation.'

She got up and slowly began to walk around the desk.

'Granger …'

'It's simple, really. I have been in love with you for almost a year, and writing stories – explicit stories – is the only way I've been able to cope. _That _is just one of them. I have more of them in my Transfiguration notebook, in my Charms notebook, in my History of Magic notebook, in my Defence Against the Dark Arts notebook … but most of them I have in my Potions notebook. Shame you didn't get your hands on _that _one.'

Her voice was barely above a whisper now, low and seductive. Severus would have said something, would have stopped her, but the way her lips formed the words spilling out of her mouth distracted him and he couldn't think properly …

'I'm in love with you, and unless the front of your robes is lying, you feel some sort of attraction for me too.'

He tore his eyes from her moist lips, and yes, she was right; the evidence of his attraction could not be hidden by the heavy robes he was wearing.

'Miss Granger,' he began, looking up, but was interrupted by her lips capturing his.

His first reaction was to snap his head back to break the kiss, but, forgetting about the back of the chair he was sitting on, he only managed to give himself a bump.

His second reaction was to push her away. He reached for her arms, her waist, anything, to _push her away_, but his hands didn't find arms or waist; his hands found breasts. Suddenly he couldn't quite find the energy to push her away from him.

His third reaction was to talk.

'Miss Granger,' he muttered, but was interrupted when she seized the opportunity of his suddenly open mouth to caress his tongue with hers.

His fourth reaction was to respond to the kiss.

_To hell with all. I have a young, beautiful, intelligent, attractive witch kissing me; I don't know when that last happened. I'd better enjoy myself while I can._

So he growled, and responded to the kiss, grabbing her waist and pulling her onto his lap. His hands searched and found the clasp to her school robes; he unclasped them and threw them away to get access to the white shirt and grey skirt she was wearing under. His hands were soon under the shirt, pressing her body closer to his, and her hands were in his hair, pressing his face closer to hers. They were as close as two bodies could be while still clothed, and it was bloody _wonderful_.

Severus turned his attentions from her mouth, trailing kisses down her neck, enjoying every appreciative sound it elicited. She, in turn, ground her hips against his erection, making him growl in a way even he hadn't known he could.

Neither heard the conversation on the other side of the closed classroom door.

'Mate, what're we doing down here anyway? I'm sure she's in the library. There's no way she could have been with Snape this long,' said Ron Weasley.

'I know,' Harry replied, 'but I can't figure out why she didn't come to the Great Hall after he let her go. I mean, I know we don't have any afternoon classes on Tuesdays, but she should be starving half to death by now, so I can't figure out why she wouldn't come anyway.'

'You've got a point there. So, er, should we knock or something?'

'Nah, that's probably unnecessary. I mean, if Hermione isn't there anymore, how big is the risk he's still in the classroom instead of his office?'

'Yeah, that's probably true. So we just walk in then?'

'Er, yeah, I suppose.'

And so the two boys opened the door and walked in on Severus Snape and Hermione Granger snogging as if their lives depended on it. Neither he nor she noticed the intruders upon their entering, and the two boys didn't find the words to say anything until Hermione let out a particularly loud moan.

'What the bloody hell, 'Mione?' Ron roared, his face tomato red. The words seemed to reach the two people on the chair through some sort of fog, as they didn't stop kissing immediately, but rather slowed down in their movements until they were completely still. Finally, Hermione sighed and turned around, but stayed in Severus's lap.

'Harry, Ron,' she said quietly. 'What are you doing here?'

'We came looking for you!' Ron spat. 'What the hell, 'Mione? Snape? You're snogging Snape? What the hell did he do to you?'

'Except offering me a job and confronting me about something highly inappropriate I had written? Nothing at all. I initiated the kiss, not the other way around.

'Sorry about that, by the way. And sorry about what I wrote,' she added to Severus. He smirked and wrapped an arm around her waist.

'Don't apologise. It is I who should apologise to you. Septima saw you writing it during Arithmancy class, and she got curious, so she read it over your shoulder. Last week she mentioned it in the staffroom, but she didn't tell whom you had written about. I had, at the time, already been interested in you for quite some time, and the thought of your writing about somebody else made me both angry and … jealous. I stole the book today during class to see who it was about. To find out that it was about me was a pleasant surprise.'

'Wait, are you saying that you've been interested in me for more than ten minutes?'

'If I hadn't, I wouldn't have let you snog me.'

'You know what, Severus Snape? I love you.'

''Mione!' Ron yelled, causing Hermione to look away from Severus again.

'What, Ron?' she snapped. 'I'm rather busy at the moment, if you couldn't tell.'

'You were snogging Snape! That isn't being busy, that's being disgusting!' Ron argued.

'Ron –'

'Mr Weasley,' Snape interrupted. 'Your presence is an obstacle between me and what I want at the moment, so I suggest you leave now and keep your mouth shut about what you've just seen.'

'Why?' Ron spat. 'I'm not in your class anymore; you can't do anything to me.'

'If you assume that I need to have you in my class to make your life hell –'

'Severus! Ron! Nobody is making anybody's life hell! Ron, you won't tell anybody about this. Severus, you will leave Ron alone.'

Severus grumbled something under his breath. 'You can't tell me –'

'What to do? Watch me. Harry, you've been awfully quiet. What are you thinking?'

'I don't know, 'Mione,' Harry said with a shrug. 'I guess this makes me kind of uncomfortable because of my mum, but … it's your life, and you can do whatever you want to.'

'Mate! We've got to tell Dumbledore about this, and –'

'And what? Get Severus sacked? He's quitting at the end of the year anyway, so you wouldn't actually achieve anything, except making us both the gossip of the month, and really, what good would that do?'

'But 'Mione, he's _Snape_!'

'No! Is he really? And here I was, thinking I was snogging Cormac McLaggen. I'm so sorry, Professor Snape, I didn't realise it was _you _I was snogging. Could you ever forgive me for making such a _horrible_ mistake?'

''Mione …'

'Leave. Now.'

''Mione …'

'Come on, mate,' Harry said. 'We'd better go.'

'And leave 'Mione here? Alone, with Snape? No way!'

'Ronald Weasley, if you don't walk out of that door right now, I will not hesitate to hex you out of it!' Hermione threatened. Ron swallowed, but he didn't back down.

'I'm not leaving you here with him, 'Mione. Who knows what he could do to you?'

'I know exactly what he could do to me, but not as long as you guys are here. So _leave_. I mean it!'

'Come on, mate. She's getting angry, and you know you don't want to be near her when she's angry. What if she sets those birds after you again?'

'Great idea, Harry,' Hermione said, drawing her wand.

'Er, I should probably – bye,' Ron muttered, and more or less ran out of the room.

'See you later, 'Mione. Snape,' Harry said and followed the redhead.

'Oh, bloody wonderful,' Hermione groaned as the door closed behind the two boys. 'I did not want to deal with that right now.'

'You handled it wonderfully, my love,' Severus smirked.

'Thank you,' she sighed. 'Do you have any afternoon classes on Tuesdays?'

'I do not, and as I recall, neither do you.'

'So we're both free. Wonderful, because I'm starving. We couldn't by any chance have lunch in your quarters, could we?'

'Of course we can. Just follow me.'

* * *

After they had had lunch, they spent the afternoon snogging, writing out her Arithmancy theories, snogging, going over the logistics of living and opening a shop in Diagon Alley, and snogging some more. When dinner time came around, they ordered chicken and roasted potatoes from the kitchens and shared a rather quiet, but pleasant meal. They spent the evening reading and talking.

Hermione didn't leave Severus's quarters that night.

When she arrived to the Great Hall for breakfast next morning, Harry and Ron were already there, looking tired and worried. When she sat down between them, they seemed torn between relief and suspicion.

'When did you come back last night, Hermione?' Harry asked wearily. 'We waited in the common room until midnight.'

'That was very sweet of you, but completely unnecessary,' Hermione replied with a smile. 'I haven't been to Gryffindor Tower since yesterday morning.'

Ron choked on his food and began to cough violently. It took him almost a minute to start breathing normally again. 'You stayed the night?' he asked, all too loudly for Hermione's preference.

'Keep your voice down,' she hissed. 'And yes, I stayed the night.'

'But you – you didn't – you know …?'

'That's none of your business,' she said, even though the answer was written all over her face.

'Merlin's beard, 'Mione. That's disgusting.'

'Honestly! You didn't find it disgusting when _we _were dating, and the only reason you find it disgusting now is because you don't like him.'

'But he's your –'

'Don't even think of going there, Ronald. You know all of us would have graduated long ago had it not been for the war, so it doesn't count.'

But –'

'No. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.'

'What was that all about?' Ginny asked, who was sitting opposite to Hermione.

''Mione's sleeping with Snape,' Harry casually replied.

'Harry!' Hermione hissed, looking around to make sure nobody else had heard him. 'Can we not have this conversation now?'

'Wait, what? Hermione, you're sleeping with _Snape_?'

'For goodness' sake, could you please keep your voice down? I will _not _have this conversation in the same room as the entire school!'

Meanwhile, at the staff table, Minerva was watching the small group of friends.

'She seems to be quite angry, don't you think?' she asked Severus.

'Who?' he asked, looking up from his coffee. He was smirking, looking relaxed and self-satisfied. Minerva gave him a suspicious look.

'And why do you look like the cat that got the cream?'

'No particular reason. You were saying?'

'I was saying that Hermione looks quite angry with her friends.'

'That should hardly be surprising, considering who her friends are.'

'Ha bloody ha.'

'While we are on the topic of Miss Granger,' Severus continued, 'do you remember our conversation in the staffroom a few days ago?'

'I'm still not going to tell you who she is in love with, Severus.'

'I wasn't going to ask you to. I was merely wondering whether you'd be happy for her in the unlikely event of her actually entering a relationship with this young man, or if you'd have any objections to the match.'

'Why do you ask?'

'You seemed so sure when you said that she'd never get closer to him than stories in notebooks, I confess my curiosity was piqued. I assumed there had to be something objectionable about the young man for you to be so certain.'

Minerva sighed, shaking her head. 'I'm sure many would find a relationship between Hermione and him objectionable, but I would wish them all the best.'

'Thank you, Minerva. I appreciate it,' he said, taking a sip of his coffee.

'Why would you …? Oh, no you didn't. Severus Snape, tell me you did not –'

'I can assure you that I most definitely did.'

'You stole her Arithmancy notebook?'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'Because I was in love with her, and I was jealous of whomever _she_ was in love with. I wanted to find out whom I was jealous of.'

'And when you found out she was in love with you …?'

'I held her back after class,' he smirked.

'What did you do to the girl, Severus?'

'I offered her to become my business partner.'

'_What?_'

'I offered her to become my business partner. I read the entire notebook, you know, not just the story, and what I read convinced me that she would be the perfect person to start my potion shop with.'

'That's it? You offered her a job and then she left?'

'Of course not,' he sneered. 'After she had accepted the job, I confronted her about the story. I only intended to embarrass her a bit, and hint that a relationship wouldn't be an impossibility once she had graduated.'

'I sense a "but" here somewhere,' Minerva muttered.

'_But _she didn't act the embarrassed school girl – not at all. She _kissed _me.'

'She _kissed _you? Hermione Granger _kissed _you? Was that before or after you told her you were interested in her?'

'Before, although I believe a certain traitorous part of my body clued her in.'

'Thank you for _that _mental image,' Minerva groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. 'So she kissed you. Then what?'

'After some feeble attempts to make her stop, naturally, I responded to the kiss.'

'I'm not sure I want to know what happened next.'

'Potter and Weasley walked in on us.'

'What?' Minerva hissed. 'What happened?'

'Potter took it surprisingly well; Weasley did not. She managed to get them out of there, but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the one they're arguing about at the moment.'

'Right. And after they had left, you sent her away, because you realised that you shouldn't be engaging in inappropriate activities while she's still your student.'

'That … is not exactly what happened.'

'Severus Snape, you did _not _sleep with her.'

'I …' he trailed off, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. What was he supposed to say? He _had_ slept with her, in every sense of the word.

'I cannot believe you!' Minerva hissed. 'She's still your student, for goodness' sake!'

'Weren't you supporting us only moments ago?'

'I support plans for a future together and perhaps one or another chaste kiss; I do not support your sleeping with a student!'

'Then you will simply have to ignore it.'

For a moment, Minerva seemed speechless. Then she stammered, 'You can't be serious. Do you honestly think I'm going to _ignore _something like that?'

'You can either ignore it, or you can report me to the Board of Governors and get me sacked. Either way I'm going to start my potion shop as soon as I'm out of here and I'm going to keep seeing Hermione; it's up to you whether or not you want to go through the trouble of finding someone to replace me for the remainder of the year.'

Minerva's mouth opened and closed several times, before a look of firm resolve spread across her face and she stood up.

'I have a class to teach,' she said. 'And so do you.'

'You're right. Thank you.'

'Don't think I like this, Severus Snape. And don't think I won't speak to Hermione about it.'

'If you humiliate her –'

'I won't. I will reason with her. You're stubborn as a mule, but perhaps I will make her see sense.'

'Don't count on it,' Severus muttered as the Deputy Headmistress turned and left. If the night he and Hermione had just spent together was anything to go by, Minerva wouldn't find Hermione more reasonable than she had found Severus.

* * *

Minerva's first class that morning was the older seventh years, and Hermione was, of course, one of the students in the class. She wasn't sitting with Harry and Ron this morning, and while they looked gloomy, she looked all too happy for someone who was in a row with their very best friends. In fact, she looked a lot like Severus had at breakfast. 'Like the cat that got the cream,' in Minerva's own words.

Minerva almost hoped that Hermione would be so distracted she didn't perform as well as she usually did – that would, after all, give Minerva an argument bound to have an impact on Hermione – but Hermione's results were quite as perfect as they always were, and Minerva was forced to admit to herself that a close relationship with Severus Snape was unlikely to negatively affect Hermione's results in school.

'A word after class, Hermione,' she said. Hermione looked up and nodded.

'Yes, of course.'

After class, when the other students left, Hermione conjured a chair in front of Minerva's desk and sat down.

'What did you want to speak to me about, Minerva?' she asked. For the first time since the war ended, Minerva regretted allowing Hermione to call her by her first name; it made it so much harder to speak to Hermione as professor and superior, rather than concerned mother figure.

'You and the boys weren't sitting together this class, and at breakfast you seemed to have quite the argument.'

'Oh,' Hermione said, going somewhat pink. 'It's nothing. Ron and I are … disagreeing on something, and Harry …. Well, Harry agrees with Ron, I believe, but unlike Ron he isn't fighting about it. I'm sure we'll work it out soon, anyway.'

Minerva sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of her nose.

'I know what you're arguing with the boys about, Hermione, and I must say that I agree with them.'

'They told you?' Hermione asked. She didn't looked surprised or particularly worried, only annoyed.

'No, they didn't. I've had first-hand information.'

'Severus told you?' Now she did look surprised.

'Yes.'

'Why would he do that? If he did it in some fit of guilty conscience because I haven't graduated yet I am going to murder him.'

'That won't be necessary – he didn't feel half as bad about it as he should. No, I believe he told me because it makes it so much easier for you two to see each other regularly. He knew that I would most likely be the first to notice if you spent many nights away from Gryffindor Tower, and that I – if I put my mind to it – would find out about you and Severus eventually.'

'How do you find out whether or not I spend my nights in Gryffindor Tower?'

'There's a charm in your beds. The charm is activated if the student spends less than an hour in it during curfew, and is designed to notify the Head of House. At breakfast today I knew you hadn't spent the night in your bed, but I simply assumed you had fallen asleep in the library. You used to do that quite often in the months leading up to your OWLs.'

'Right. And as Severus is Head of Slytherin, he knew you'd be notified when I didn't return to my rooms last night.'

'Yes.'

'I can't believe he'd risk my getting expelled and his getting sacked rather than just wait for a few months!'

'Believe me, Hermione, he didn't risk a thing,' Minerva grumbled. 'He knew I would never expel you, and as he so kindly pointed out, getting him sacked wouldn't change his relationship with you; it would only give me the trouble of finding someone to replace him for the remainder of the year.'

'Okay. I suppose that makes sense. But then, what did you want to speak to me about?'

'I wanted to ask you to not engage in a sexual relationship with Severus until you have graduated.'

'But if I refuse to do as you ask, you won't really do anything?'

'No,' Minerva sighed, 'but I was hoping you'd be reasonable. Don't you think it's better to wait?'

'No. I'm sorry, Minerva, but I won't wait for anything I don't have to wait for. I'm done waiting.'

Minerva gave Hermione a long look, before tiredly waving her hand.

'I see. You may go.'

'Thank you. And I hope you're not too disappointed in me; in any other situation, I would have strived to follow your advice.'

* * *

It was Saturday, and Severus was once again sitting in the staffroom with a cup of coffee. The people were the same as last week, and the topic was very similar too, although perhaps a bit more focused on Hermione.

'For the last time, Filius, no!' Septima snapped. 'I will not tell you whom Miss Granger is in love with, nor will I tell you why they'll never get together.'

'Has Filius been pestering you quite as much as Albus has been pestering me this last week?' Minerva asked darkly.

'Yes. If I had had any idea how curious they'd be, I would not have mentioned it in the first place. What about you, Severus? Have you been pestering Pomona while gathering ingredients from her greenhouses?'

'Certainly not,' said Severus smoothly. 'Unlike other in this room, I didn't waste my time giving the female staff members a headache; I found out myself.'

'Severus, my boy –'

'Severus, old friend –'

'Don't even try. I won't tell you.'

'Did you really figure out who she's in love with?' Pomona asked, giving him an odd look.

'I did indeed, and I must say that you exaggerated the impossibility of the match.'

'Are you saying that you could – that is, that the two of them could have a future together?'

'I –'

'No,' Minerva interrupted. 'He's saying that they've been shagging every night since Tuesday.'

Septima Vector promptly spat out her tea.

* * *

**Okay, so this fic was supposed to end after the first conversation in the staffroom. I don't know what happened. Anyway … review? :)**

**Hannoie**


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